It's not what it looks like
by HHHlllfan16
Summary: Hiccup and Snotlout are having a private moment with each other. Sadly, the gang hears them just outside the door. Takes place after Defenders of Berk.


**I really don't understand why people do the warnings, but since I my self hate not to be warn of Spoilers, I guess I'll save my self from people's rage.**

 **This One-shot contains sexual themes or suggestions or whatever. I guess a little of Toothccup (Hiccup and Toothless) and Hicclout (Hiccup and Snotlout)**

 **Don't like, then don't read.**

 **But if you disregard this warning, just remember...**

 **IS YOUR OWN FAULT!**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Is not what it looks like**

"Hiccup!" Astrid called.

Oh Gods, where was he? She and the other teens had been looking for their _responsible_ and _punctual_ leader. Sarcasm _not_ included, because the sarcastic, idiot of a leader wasn't there to deliver it. Supposedly they had to be at the academy an hour before sunrise, "no matter what, be on time. No exceptions and no excuses", or so had said the very person who hadn't been there, and who Astrid was currently trying to find.

Once everyone had seen Hiccup wasn't coming anytime soon they had all split up. Hence why Astrid was yelling Hiccup's name at Thor's beach; meanwhile Fishlegs went to the chief's house, for maybe that moron was asleep; the twins (hopefully) left for the cove, and maybe they would see Toothless wrapped around his rider; Snotlout had gone to the forge, perhaps Gobber knew where Hiccup was. Astrid herself was where she was because they had run out of places where Hiccup was most likely to be at.

"Where could he be?" Astrid murmured to her self. And after another half hour, she mounted her dragon and left. Maybe someone had finally found Hiccup, and she could punch his arm until it fell for making her wake so early in the morning. She was actually looking forward to training session since Hiccup had told them that in the morning, the air currents were pretty good for flying, and the purpose of the lesson was to see how long could the dragons take as they seem to love strong currents; just as long as it wasn't any stronger than themselves.

But all was ruined, of course, because only Hiccup knew where these fantastic air currents were. She could have sworn this exercise was just an excuse to be racing along side her, and be just the two of them. It wouldn't have been hard at all; there were several occasions when the Twins and Snotlout had skipped class, even that day they had come latter as usual. Fishlegs was normally on time, just like Astrid, but (it could had been luck if it wasn't for the current situation) he had forgotten the lesson, and came later than the other three.

It could have been nice to just have Hiccup for herself in such a pretty sunrise, but no, Hiccup was Odin knows where, she was looking for him, and-

"Astrid!" Someone called from behind her. She turned Stormfly around and saw Fishlegs approaching from the ground.

"Fishlegs! Any sign of Hiccup?"

"Actually," he panted. She wondered from where had he come that the distance had left him no breath. And where was Meatlug? "Yes, the twins found him. Or at least sort of."

She raised an eyebrow, "Sort of? What do you mean?"

"You have to come to believe it."

"Where is he?"

"In the forge."

"Ok, come on, Stormfly!" She commanded her dragon and would have left if it wasn't for…

"Wait, Astrid!"

"Yes, Fishlegs?"

"Can I get a ride?"

"Sure."

* * *

The ride must have been less than ten minutes, but Gods, did it feel like another hour had passed. As they were nearing to the forge, Fishlegs had decided to pick up certain traits from Johan's last visit to Berk. Like the necessity to explain things with unnecessary, long, _extremely_ long details of a story rather than get to the point.

Turns out Snotlout had found Hiccup, but for some reason decided not to tell anyone. And once the twins had gotten bore with the cove, they left to tip yaks and see how long would it take for the chief to notice; considering that his dragon was off with Bing, Bam, and Boom, they thought it would take at least 2 hours again. And Meatlug was actually sick from…

"Rock poisoning you said?" She asked.

"Yeah," he answered from her back. "I was just trying to see what other kind of things she could make, like with the Gronkle iron, but it didn't turn out well. And this morning I found she had horrible indigestion from all the-"

"Oh, look! We are here!" Thank the Gods.

Once Stormfly landed they got off of her back and walked to the building. She could see Ruffnut and Tuffnut leaning over a wall, ears close to the surface; most likely listening to whatever was going on inside.

"What ar-"

"Sh!" They turned and hold up one finger to their own mouths, and whisper while moving their hands toward themselves, "come here."

She and Fishlegs moved to the wall, and heard… were those…

"Ngh! Ahh," she heard someone gasped and moan.

"Gods, could you be any louder, Hiccup?" Asked a voice that sounded like Snotlout's. But if Snotlout had talked to-

"I'm sorry!" Another moan escaped from Hiccup. Hiccup?! "I told you that is too sensitive."

"If I didn't know better, I would say you are enjoying your self a little, Haddock."

"Please skip the jokes."

"Man, this thing is hard."

"Hard?" she asked at loud.

Ruffnut grinned and whispered back to her. "They seemed to be at it for a while. And ugly face over there and I have a pretty good idea of what is going on."

"Yeah," whispered "ugly face". "And if Snotlout found Hiccup right after we left the academy, then they've been at it for a long while."

"But… It's Hiccup who we are talking about," she argued. "You've seen him how he acts around with girls."

"It's really only you, Astrid." Fishlegs pointed out.

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever, the point is, Hiccup wouldn't do something like this. His father would flip if he found out."

"That's why they haven't told him anything yet." Once again, Ruffnut smirked. "I do wonder how they do it."

"What?!"

"Ahh!" More moaning.

"What? Did I hurt you?" Asked Snotlout. "Did I-"

"No. No, actually, that felt good."

"Oh. Ok. Is it still...?"

"Yeah, kinda."

"Have you talked about this with anyone?"

"No. Unless you count Toothless that is."

Tuffnut's eyes widened. "No way."

"So how does he take care of this?"

"I let him take it and-ngh!" he moaned. "And he does the rest. Whatever he can to make it feel better."

Now Ruffnut's eyes widened. "Double no way!"

"For Thor's undies, stop calling it 'it', Hiccup."

"And what would you call it, Snotlout?"

"Oh Gods!" Whispered Fishlegs.

"Well, I would call it for what it really is."

"Ah!" gasped Hiccup.

Ruffnut blushed. "This is so hot."

Astrid blushed harder, "Ruffnut!"

"I would call it-"

CRACK!

"Wait, Snotlout." Said Hiccup. "Did you hear that?"

Everyone looked up and notice one giant fissure that was breaking the wall that everyone was basically mount over. The words "oh crap" barely left the teens' mouths once the wall broke, letting them fall and lye over the floor. All hurt and grunting, and "very much hurt".

"Guys?!"

At the called, Astrid looked up, along everyone else, and saw… Hiccup on a stool, completely dressed, and Snotlout kneeling (he was dressed as well) holding Hiccup's leg. Hiccup's bad leg, his stump. She looked with relief at the boy she had, for one second, doubted of. But Hiccup had an incredulous look on his face.

"What are you doing there?"

Now that was a pretty good question, and of course, Fishlegs went forward to answer.

"We weren't spying on you guys, nor heard any moans, or heard anybody talk about any kind of sensibility or body parts! And we weren't assuming you guys had a different taste of anything!"

She herself, and even the twins, rolled eyes and slapped a hand to the forehead. But nothing topped the boys' expressions.

"What?!"

* * *

"So let me get this straight," said Hiccup to everyone in the academy. Once Astrid, Fishlegs, and the twins stood up to try to explain things, Hiccup couldn't handle any of the four people's words. So he stopped them and suggested to go to the academy to calm and figure out what was this mess. No one had calmed down, but one way or another Hiccup got the answers he needed. Or at least he got something. "Because I didn't show up here at the time we had agreed on, you went out to look for me. Then Ruffnut and Tuffnut came by the forge and found me alone with Snotlout, but you guys-"he pointed at the twins,"-decided to not let anyone know. Am I right so far?" Everyone nodded. "Ok. Then Fishlegs came by, didn't know what to do, and went to get Astrid. Correct?" The large teen nodded. "Well then. But once Astrid and Fishlegs arrived, you guys heard me moan." Again, everyone nodded. "And made their own assumptions on what was going on?"

Everyone glanced at each other, "Yeah."

Hiccup clapped his hands together and started to walk around. "Perfect. Now that everything is sorted out, let me explain."

"Could I tell the story?" Snotlout interrupted, and Astrid groaned. This was already a mess; they didn't need Snotlout to make it worse.

"Not now, Snotlout."

"But you're gonna make it boring."

"It isn't that big of a deal."

"But-"

"Snotlout, please."

He just grunted and folded his arms over his chest, murmuring something about he telling stories better.

"Thank you," Hiccup took a deep breath and started to talk again. "First, this reunion was to be the day _after_ tomorrow, meaning now the actual tomorrow."

Oh, so everyone had heard wrong then? That was a first.

"I told you I had things to do at the forge and that was why I couldn't show you guys today. As you all know, I was at the forge doing some of my chores when… when my-"

"His stump," again, Snotlout interrupted. "I don't know why he doesn't like to call it stump."

Hiccup growled. "Thank you, Snotlout. Anyways, I was just sharpening a couple of swords when my… stump, started to hurt. At first I didn't pay attention to it, it was just a dull ace, but it started to hurt more and more until I just couldn't stand anymore. I sat down and-"

"I came in," Snotlout interrupted again. "He apparently had his stump sore and it hurt him a lot. And, as the good hero I am, I came to his aid and helped him massage it."

Hiccup growled again. "Thank you, Snotlout. Now-"

"It was so sore that it was hard like a rock," he proceeded as if Hiccup hadn't talked at all. "And he says it was sensibility from the stump, but I think I have magic fingers 'cause he couldn't stop moaning and moaning and-"

"Thank you, Snotlout," Hiccup raised his voice. "You can stop now."

Once more, Snotlout only grunted and folded his arms over his chest, murmuring something between his teeth.

Hiccup took a deep breath and gave a big sigh. "Yes, my stump is sensitive at someone's touch, I myself don't like to touch it. But it's just because is still a fresh scar. Gobber had talked about it before. He says that since the body is not used to be incomplete it takes a while for it to "understand" that there is less of it. And today was one of those misunderstandings. Any other questions?"

The twins didn't even hesitate to raise their hands. "Yes, Ruff? Tuff?"

Tuffnut answered first. "Yeah, why didn't you send Snotlout to tell us what was going on with you?"

"Because he didn't tell me." He glanced at Snotlout who was just leaning over a wall. " I guess he just forgot."

"And where are Toothless and Hookfang?"

"Since I was just planning to do things at the forge I just asked him to stay at home. I would be done quickly with my chores and pick him up for a flight. And Hookfang, well."

"He didn't want to come," said Snotlout from where he was standing. "He just got tire of flying for one minute, and then he decided to just crash somewhere and take a nap."

Hiccup sighed. "Well, there is your answer."

"But what was that about letting Toothless take it?" Asked Ruffnut with a grin.

"He just stretches me in my bed and he lays his head over my leg. I don't understand very well how it works, but it just works. And it helps me relax as well."

"Ah," said Ruffnut with a bit of disappointment. "So he doesn't actually, ah, take your…"

"I'm going to stop you right there. No, neither me, Snotlout, or Toothless do those things."

She held her hands up as in surrendering. "I was just asking."

"Anyways," Tuffnut began, "we have a lot to do today, so bye!"

And the twins sprinted out of the academy on their dragon as fast as they could. Leaving behind a very bright red Astrid, and an equally, if not even more, red Fishlegs.

"Did you guys actually thought that Snotlout and I were really-"

"Oh, look at the hour!" Exclaimed the red face teen. "I need to check out how Meatlug is doing." And just like that, Fishlegs run off.

Hiccup just stared at where he had gone and grunted in frustration. "Well," he turned around to face Astrid. "What can you say for- Where is she?"

The blonde Viking was gone as if she had never been there.

"Great."

"So Hiccup," Snotlout approached with a big, fat grin on his face. "Would you actually do it with me? I mean I am hot, but am I really that hot to enchant you?"

"Shut up."

* * *

 **So yeah. How manny of you actually thought they were, you know, doing you know what?**

 **While writing this, a friend read the moaning part and couldn't stop asking (bothering really) if I was actually writing dirty stuff.**

 **Oh man! Sometimes people can think so low of me, but who cares! I just love the expressions afterwards!**


End file.
